Goodbye, 2011

There's barely an hour left of 2011. The kids are playing Wii, there are sounds of fireworks outside, and I'm feeling sleepy. We should have gone to bed, but the kids want to stay awake until midnight, and maybe light some sparklers and watch the fireworks outside. We generally don't make a big deal of the holidays, and it's rare that they make a request like they did tonight, to usher in the new year. When they do, I acquiesce.

We're bidding goodbye to 2011, which has been a blessed year for us. We've had no major problems. We've been healthy and well. We've finally accepted and grown comfortable with the fact that their dad isn't going to be with us anymore. We're happy and well looked after. The kids even got a number of awards in school and I'm one proud mama. They're smart, well behaved, responsible, and good kids. Of that, I'm very grateful for.

But right now, what I want to leave behind in 2011 is this dang toothache that's been showing up on and off in the past few days. Blame it on all the sweets and holiday food I've been indulging in. I've already taken two paracetamols since this afternoon, and the pain has subsided somewhat, but it's still here. What's aggravating it is the noise that's all around. Well, it's New Year's Eve, so I can't do anything about the noise.

I'd love to make a thoughtful summing up of the year's that about to be gone forever, but I'm hardly in a thinking mood. What I know is we've been very blessed, and I am very thankful.

I don't know what to expect in the new year, with all the rumors, End of Days predictions, and the very real calamities that have been happening within and outside the country. I confess I am dreading some sort of cataclysm; if and when it comes, I hope we can weather it and survive intact as a family.

Goodbye, 2011. (And please take this toothache with you as you leave.)

Thank You, Great Spirit, for watching over us and keeping us safe and happy.

Hello, 2012. We don't know what the future holds, but we can only hope for the best. Whatever happens, may we remain thankful always, appreciating both the little and big blessings that come our way, especially the blessing of Life and togetherness.

My Christmas Gift

Being non-Christian, we don't really celebrate Christmas in our home. But we do put up a Christmas tree and give gifts to one another. This often means that I, as Mommy Santa, have to dig deep in my pocket and make sure that the kids are happy and have something to keep themselves amused with during the Christmas break from school. I also don't skimp on giving myself something special on Christmas. Life is short. Do what makes you happy. That's my philosophy. 

I bought my kids their gadget wishes: a Nintendo 3DS and a cellphone. (Should I even ask where they get their geekiness and gadget fondness from?) But for Alden, my youngest daughter, I got a toy called Beados Pet Pals, which was her express request.

For myself, I've been eyeing the Samsung Galaxy Tab 7.0 Plus. But in the end I decided a desktop PC all-in-one would be a better choice. The great thing about this is that it can be used as a TV as well. That means that I -- and the kids -- can use it for surfing the Web and watching cable. Win-win, right? It won't just be for me, but for the whole family.

I looked at various local stores and read online reviews, and I found the most affordable one to be the Lenovo IdeaCentre B320. The online review specified a touchscreen monitor, but locally, what's available is a LED 21.5-incher that's not touchscreen. That's fine with me. I do have a Lenovo netbook that's touchscreen, and I don't actually use the touchscreen feature all that much. Besides, this function on a Lenovo is somewhat a downer once you're used an iPad or an iPhone. On an Apple device, it's so much easier to flick on the screen with your fingers; on a Lenovo, the screen isn't nearly as responsive.

While shopping around, I saw more stunning MSI all-in-ones, with better features, but they're also more expensive. Anyway, my needs are simple: a 2-GB RAM, 500 GB storage, and the TV functionality. And oh, it must be able to run The Sims 3, which Alden loves to play but won't run on our little Lenovo netbook. All these are satisfied by the B320. It also runs on a Intel Core i3 chip. (Another B320 variant, with a 20-inch screen and no TV tuner, runs on a slower Dual Core processor.)

I was very excited when the B320 was delivered to our doorstep. I immediately unboxed it, and found that it was a no-brainer to put things together. You simply have to connect the cables for the keyboard and mouse to the right ports, and that's it. The Sims 3 installed without a hitch. However, when playing, the video isn't as crisp as I would have loved. It'll do, though.

The problem arose when I tried to connect the B320 to the TV cable. I realized that the port at the back of the B320 is for an aerial TV cable, not a CATV which is the one used by our cable TV provider. I panicked for a moment there. I tried calling the Lenovo store, because the branch manager had assured me that it would be compatible with cable TV (not aerial TV). I was thinking of returning the B320 if possible, because one primary reason I bought it was to use it to watch cable TV. But the phone just kept on ringing, with no one answering. I grew frustrated by the minute. I felt that I had bought something that was less than what I expected it to be.

Fortunately, I remembered that the big TV in our sala (a Philips) had some sort of an adaptor for cable TV when I first bought it. I looked at the back, and lo and behold!-- the adaptor was still there. It's just what I needed. It's an adaptor that converts an aerial TV port into a CATV one. Wow!

I lost no time in putting the adaptor on the B320. It fitted perfectly. Afterwards, I was able to successfully connect it to our cable TV. What a relief! I used the channel auto-scan, and then I could watch cable. Whew! Again, the screen isn't exactly crystal-clear or crisp as it should be on what's touted as an entertainment center, but it's good enough for me.

Now, we use the B320 mostly as a PC, but I plan to make it my bedroom TV/PC once the kids go back to school in January. It's great surfing and playing Tetris on it. I imagine it would be very nice for viewing, editing and storing photos, once I get back to my photography hobby.

By the way, the keyboard is somewhat old-fashioned, and it makes loud clackety-clack sounds when playing Tetris Battle. It helps add to the "war" feel of online gaming, so it's a good thing if you ask me. Later on, I'll try using a Bluetooth keyboard and see how it works out.
The 21.5-inch screen also takes some getting used to, especially since I had been using a petite 11-inch netbook before. I feel I have to literally open my eyes wider to see the whole screen. But this is, of course, a nice change. A very nice one indeed. Thank you, Santa! :-)

My First Photo Walk

About a month ago, I didn't even know what a photo walk was. Then I attended a basic photography course at UP, which exposed (pun intended) me to a whole new world. Through it, I relearned some of the rudiments of the craft, like ISO and aperture settings, which I had informally studied before, online. But what I really valued about the course is that it taught me a whole slew of new technical things, shooting tips, and helpful acronyms--TAE, WHIMS, bokeh, star trails, the Hail Mary shot, light painting, and so on. I even got to learn about lenses, filters and other photography gear which I knew next to nothing about. (Not only did I learn what a hygrometer was, but I actually got a free one in the course.)

Before I forget to properly acknowledge it, the course is Nathaniel Salang's 3-Day Basic Photography Course. It can easily be found online, and I recommend that anyone interested in photography should take it.

So, I took the course, and when it was done, I thought, now what? Although my d-SLR is old and hopelessly passe (it's a modest Olympus model), I didn't want to put it back into some drawer, where it had gathered dust for two years before I thought of taking up photography (somewhat) seriously. And I didn't want to put to waste what I had learned in the course.

The next step seems to be to join a photography group or a photo walk. I've been on the lookout for these, but people seem to be too busy these days to go on a photo walk. It's Christmas season, after all.

So I thought I'd try to go on a photo walk alone. It shouldn't be that hard, right? I told myself that the important thing is to just get some shooting practice, period. For this, I thought I'd go to UP, because it's familiar and safe, and because the people there don't really care what you do. I did bring along my good friend Cris for company. I haven't seen her for a long time, and this is as good a chance to get together as any. Like shooting two birds with one stone. (Pun intended, again.)

As expected, I learned a lot from the experience. Well, that's putting it nicely. What I mean is that I made a lot of mistakes on this supposed photo walk... but from those mistakes, I am now wiser (hopefully). Next time, I should remember to:

• check my materials more thoroughly. I did bring a tripod, but I left home the base/port/thingy that attaches the camera to the tripod. As a result, I didn't get to use the tripod at all.
• include people's feet in the frame. I took many shots of people with missing body parts (usually the feet and fingers).
• move faster! OMG, I'm such a slowpoke! I missed a lot of "good shots," like colorful motorists or bikers passing me by before I even got to raise my camera.
• shoot earlier--or later--in the day. It was around 10 a.m. when I started taking pictures. I shot away until about 1 p.m. Everyone knows that the noonday sun isn't a great light source. And it was HOT!

The pictures I took aren't that great, but I wasn't expecting them to be. At least I got to go on a trip that was solely intended for picture-taking. And I got to learn and grow some.

The oblation. Brings to my mind this line from Bohemian Rhapsody: "I look to the sky and see / I'm just a poor boy."

This runner made at least three laps around the oval (6.6 km!) while we were there.

Hmmmm....

I love shooting people... If only they'd make eye contact.

This may be my favorite pic of the bunch. I think it helped that I made it B&W.

Push! Push!

Exhibit A: The photographer was slow, and the subject has missing body parts. Tsk! Tsk!

Another of my favorite pics in the bunch.

Again, missing body parts!

This really should have been sharper. Sayang.

I love this picture. Good thing the student and the riders weren't on a collision course.

The red stood out for me.

I like the foreground, but not the rest of the picture.

Patterns.

The oblation. I wanted the flag to look like his cape, ala-Superman, but it didn't happen.

A skateboarder ... in the noonday heat.

Cris, using a point-and-shoot.

Okay, I should have used f/22 here. Lesson learned. Kapag landscape, dapat higher f-stop.

I like this pic :-)

The carillon (?)

The academic oval. I feel it's mandatory to get a shot of these acacias (and of the Oblation) when you're in UP.

Cris, holding my useless tripod :-)

My alma mater, the College of Engineering. I borrowed here the "tilting" style of Sir Thaniel.

QCIM3: My Third 21k

Since it first started, the Quezon City International Marathon (QCIM) has been a special, highly anticipated race for me. For one thing, it's done in Quezon City where I live, not in far off Fort Bonifacio where most of the major races are held. For another, the QCIM is a rare occasion during which half of the lengthy and busy Commonwealth Ave is emptied of vehicular traffic and transformed into a spacious playground for runners. It is a runner's dream to race along the long stretch of this infamous, accident-prone highway sans the noise, fumes and very real danger of cars running you over. And while the route is scenic, it isn't without a few challenges. It slopes uphill, especially along the Tandang Sora flyover and going towards Fairview.

Another great thing going for the QCIM is that it is always well planned and organized. A runner can't really ask for more. There are more than adequate water stations, kilometer markers and road directions, helpful marshals, and -- wait a minute--no medical aid stations this time? I don't recall seeing Red Cross volunteers or medical personnel in this year's race, though thankfully, I didn't have any need for their help. But maybe they were around and I just didn't see them.

For the QCIM3, some of the hydration stations even offered bananas and Gatorade drinks, which I really appreciated. When you don't have enough energy gels with you during a long run, those can truly help.

I woke up at 3:00 am on race day. With my brain still groggy with sleep, I wondered why I was subjecting myself to all these troubles instead of just going back to the warm comfort of my bed (and on such a cold December morning). I hurriedly had coffee, a few bites of lasagna and pastry, and hoped they would be enough to sustain me through the run. I had but one Gu energy gel (I calculated I needed at least three) and a Snickers bar as baon.

I was thankful my right leg was feeling alright and probably 90% recovered from a shin splint that had been bothering me earlier. But just to be sure, I wore a leg brace/compression thingy (I don't know the right term for it). This later proved to be a very prudent decision.

Before starting the race, I was resigned to the fact that I might need to walk during the latter part. I was under-trained because of my leg injury, and I was feeling far from confident. I told myself I'd just try to enjoy myself during the run as much as I can, and see how it goes. If I felt tired or had my usual leg cramps, I'd simply walk. I'm not running the full 42k marathon anyway, so I was not worried about the curfew time. Even if I walked half of the race, I would finish well before the allotted closing time of 11:00 am.

As it happened, the gods of running smiled upon me during this race, and I didn't experience any leg cramps. Without fail, I'd have cramps during any run that's longer than 12 or 13 kilometers--but for some reason, I didn't during this race. Wow! I was very pleasantly surprised. Later, I tried to analyze how this happened, and I concluded that it's perhaps the leg compression stocking that saved me. That's the one thing I did in this race differently from previous races. Maybe the Gu gel which I took close to Km 5 also had something to do with it. In previous races, I contented myself mostly with just Gatorade and water as fuel. I now realize that energy gels provide extra sustenance. (Duh!)

My finish time was nothing to brag about; in fact it was longer than my first two 21k races. But I was more than happy. No leg cramps, no walking (except while hydrating and munching on bananas), no problems at all! It was an easy breezy run, made enjoyable by the wonderful route, the efficient work of the organizers, and the December weather that's ideal for running. There was even a nice little drizzle as I approached the finish line.

There was a post-race raffle with a most enticing prize: a condo unit. I felt obligated to stay around and wait for the raffle draw, because you never knew who might win. If your race number was drawn and you're not around, you'd be deemed ineligible for the prize. And so I made tambay at City Hall until 11:30 am. I stayed there for a longer time than I spent running during the actual race. Good thing I had my earbuds and iPhone with me, so I didn't get too bored. Okay, maybe I was bored and dozed off a bit. (I woke up at 3 am, didn't I?) I tried to fill the down time reading up on trivia on my iPhone. (Did you know that the circular bits of paper you get after using a puncher have a name? They're called chads.)

By the way, medals were given to finishers of the the 21k and 42k categories. There was supposedly a loot bag too, but I only got an empty SDMC bag. Anyway, that's no biggie. Finishing the race injury-free was enough for me. It was another wonderful QCIM.

My view along Commonwealth, going to Philcoa and the finish line. Wide, car-free roads are a truly a runner's dream come true!

The rectangular medal and my bib.

At the finish line.

Bye Bye Fish

Another one of our goldfish died today. This is him (or her) floating lifelessly on the water surface.

Only two goldfish remain in our fish tank, plus one giant janitor and one teeny-weeny flat, shiny fish of some unknown species (I forgot what it's called). We originally had more than ten of this tiny flat fish. We also had maybe seven to ten goldfish originally, together with many kois that also perished.

I admit it, I'm a lousy fish keeper. I hate cleaning the tank and changing the water. So, yes, I am probably guilty for the deaths of the all our fishes. (Though I don't discount that there's a chance other, unknown factors are responsible.)

Our tank is a large, 75-gallon one, so right now it's looking very empty and sad. I hate to buy more fish because I know they'd die sooner or later.

All Set for a 21k?

How I wish I could put an exclamation point at the end of that title. But as things stand, my readiness for a 21k race is a giant question mark right now. My last run was 20 days ago. Since then, I stopped training because of a leg injury, although I tried to stay active by playing badminton once or twice a week. I resumed running just this morning with a leisurely 10k on the treadmill. Race day is roughly 13 days from now, I am woefully undertrained, and I don't feel confident at all that I can pull off a 21k. Why, oh why, didn't I just sign up for a 10k??? Or even a 5k?

Well, I know the answer to that one. I love challenges, even if they kill me (literally). My bravado and bahala-na-si-Batman attitude often gets me in trouble, but I admit the payoff can also be very gratifying. I loooove the feeling of getting away with something, of finishing a race despite being ill-prepared. Of course, with the gratification also come a slow finish time, painful cramps, sore muscles, and a limp for days post-race. I have read somewhere that runners are secretly masochists, and I have I feeling that's exactly true in my case. (Even my running playlist reflects this--John Cougar Mellencamp's "Hurts So Good" on my iPod pumps me up on every run.)

The 21k race I registered for is the Quezon City International Marathon (QCIM). It's a yearly event that I look forward to, primarily because of its accessibility. Most races are held in Fort Bonifacio, which is too far from where I live. QCIM starts at the Quezon City Hall, and goes through the long stretch of Commonwealth Avenue, into the Eco-Park at La Mesa Dam. It's a runner's dream to have one whole side of Commonwealth Ave. (equivalent to maybe 6 lanes) cleared of all vehicular traffic on race day and devoted exclusively to runners. Apart from this, the QCIM is usually very well managed, with plenty of water stations (this is a must!), adequate kilometer markers, and efficient race marshals.

The race kit includes a shirt, not a singlet this time. I think that's nice for a change. I would have appreciated though if they have the shirt in smaller sizes. I got the small size, but it's still a teeny bit big for me, maybe equivalent to medium or large for other shirts.

The race also includes a Strider Tag as a timing device. It's my first time to see a timing chip that's as thin as a strip of paper. Last year's timing device for the QCIM was a circular plastic thingy roughly the size of an old one-peso coin.

This will be my third 21k race. Incidently, it's also the third year of QCIM. I don't expect a faster finish time or new PR. I just hope to finish, even if that means I have to walk and crawl part of the way :-)

Not Running -- But Not Sitting Still Either

I've said (or thought) "I'm back into writing and blogging" so many times in the past that I've lost count. It's pretty much how I also feel about another favorite hobby of mine, running. I have this on-and-off, love-hate relationship with blogging and running. Well, maybe "hate" is too strong a word. It's true that the very thought of running in the cold early morning air often makes me feel like throwing the covers over my head and doing a Rip Van Winkle. But it's also true that many a day has felt incomplete for me without a run, or without a blog post.

Speaking of running, I'm on a forced hiatus right now. I had ignored for too long the pain in my right leg, and just kept on running and playing badminton like there's no tomorrow, until I no longer could. The pain has developed into a full-blown running injury called a shin splint. The cure is simple but very hard to do: quit running and let the leg rest for at least two weeks.

And so I have stopped running. For about a week now. That's the good news. The bad news is that I have succumbed a few times to the temptation to play badminton. Last Saturday, I played badminton for about six hours, and the result of this foolhardiness is more pain and a limp, which become very pronounced when I go up and down the stairs.

In search of another hobby that won't put strain on my legs, I have turned to photography. This has been a latent interest of mine for quite some time (my daughters say I'm interested in everything), and now seems to be the perfect time to give it full lien. I also happen to have this digital SLR camera that's been lying around the house for years now. I might as well put it into good use.

To start off, I downloaded a number of great photography books from the Internet. These books cost a great deal (easily over P1,500 when I did some browsing at National Bookstore), and I feel very lucky to be able to download the electronic versions for free and read them on my iPad. I was also able to find the manual for my d-SLR on the Internet, a very handy reference to take the place of the real manual which I've lost.

I've been taking a lot of practice shots, mostly of our dearest beatzu named Cookie. Here's a sample.

And I've enrolled in a short photography course at UP that starts two days from now. I'm super-excited! I would have loved to take the course together with my daughter Jigme, but she's too busy with schoolwork, and perhaps not as interested in photography as I am. We did agree that I'd teach her whatever I learned in the course. She's very artistic and loves to sketch, and I'm sure she'll enjoy photography too when she gets to experience it firsthand.

So that's what I've been doing these days. I hope to get to write more and blog regularly again while I'm more or less forced to stay off my feet. That way, I could also put into full use some of the idle gadgetry that's gathering dust in a corner somewhere, like this bluetooth keyboard that I'm now using while typing on the iPad. It all has made me realize once again how fortunate I am, and how there is so much to learn and to do. Learning, like living, never stops, no matter what your age is. And so here I am, embarking on a new hobby, staying off my feet, but definitely not sitting still :-)

Yesterday, I Cried

(This is a poem from the book Yesterday, I Cried by Iyanla Vanzant. I find it very touching and familiar, as I'm a frequent crier myself.)

Yesterday, I cried.
I came home, went straight to my room, sat on the edge of my bed,
kicked off my shoes, unhooked my bra,
and had myself a good cry.

I'm telling you,
I cried until my nose was running all over the silk blouse I got on sale.
I cried until my ears were hot.
I cried until my head was hurting so bad
that I could hardly see the pile of soiled tissues ying on the floor at my feet.

I want you to understand,
I had myself a really good cry yesterday.

Yesterday, I cried,
for all the days that I was too busy, or too tired, or too mad to cry.
I cried for all the days, and all the ways,
and all the times I had dishonored, disrespected, and disconnected my Self from myself,
only to have it reflected it back to me in the ways others did to me
the same things I had already done to myself.

I cried for all the things I had given, only to have them stolen;
for all the things I had asked for that had yet to show up;
for all the things I had accomplished, only to give them away, to people in circumstances,
which left me feeling empty, and battered and plain old used.

I cried because there really does come a time when the only thing left for you to do is cry.

Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because little boys get left by their daddies;
and little girls get forgotten by their mommies;
and daddies don't know what to do, so they leave;
and mommies get left, so they get mad.

I cried because I had a little boy, and because I was a lttle girl,
and because I was a mommy who didn't know what to do,
and because I wanted my daddy to be there for me so badly until I ached.

Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because I hurt. I cried because I was hurt.
I cried because hurt has no place to go
except deeper into the pain that caused it in the first place,
and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up.

I cried because it was too late.
I cried because it was time.
I cried because my soul knew that I didn't know
that my soul knew everything I needed to know.

I cried a soulful cry yesterday, and it felt so good.
It felt so very, very bad.
In the midst of my crying, I felt my freedom coming,
Because
Yesterday, I cried
with an agenda.

Jailbroken!

I've always ignored comments and posts I read on techie sites that I should jailbreak my Apple devices to get the best out of them. I thought, if the thing isn't broken, why bother changing it? Indeed, I've been very happy with my iPhone and iPad (and my iPods as well) and I saw no reason to tinker with them beyond what Apple officially allows.

Then one day, I came across this irresistible post in FlipBoard that said all it takes to jailbreak is just one click. At jailbreakme.com, the process is entirely automated; you just have to click on one button and it's done--no need to manually download or install any program or change the settings. It even works for the latest iOS version and the iPads. And it's risk-free because you can restore your device anytime (to the previous un-jailbroken state) through iTunes. And so I was convinced.

I first jailbroke my iPhone. It was a very easy process, as promised. No glitches, though I didn't know what to do afterwards and what Cydia apps to get.

I started with the easiest modifications possible. I downloaded some themes and ringtunes. Again, it was pretty easy to do, though it was time-consuming because everytime I changed into a new theme, the iPhone had to be restarted. Aside from that, the process was uncomplicated. And I loved the new looks provided by the installed themes. After a while, the original interface does become dull and boring. With the themes, your iPhone also looks different from all other iPhones.

Next, I jailbroke my Ipad. Again, it was easy, though there aren't very many free iPad themes available compared to iPhone themes. But I'm happy that my jailbroken iPad now looks distinct from the run-of-the-mill iPad interface. (Mababaw lang ang kaligayahan ko.)

I also installed Activator, an app that lets you assign commands or actions to specific gestures or buttons. With it, you can choose the Home button, for instance, to do whatever command you wish to associate it with. On my iPad, clicking and holding down the Home button now automatically turns off the device, something I couldn't do previously.

There are other Cydia apps I wish to try, especially the one which allows unrestricted transfer of all files between a PC and any iDevice. In the meantime, I'm happy with the new themes I have on my iPhone. Here are some of their screenshots:

The "Picnic" Theme. This is my kids' favorite.

"Buuf2"

"Glasklart." One of the most popular iPhone themes.

"High Tech Clover." I like this because it's simple and clean.

"Touchit." Another favorite of mine.